Thursday, crack of sparrow, and Henry’s on the phone to the OPCS woman. “Did you have a good holiday?” he asks her.
“Yes, thank you,” she says, a little stiffly.
After some preamble he asks her Ellie’s question: How many British visas have been granted to Russians in the last twelve months?
She’s not keen on answering him, he can tell. First she says that such a request should be applied for in writing, and he should expect it to take at least fourteen days, because they have a backlog. And anyway, she’s not sure if she has the correct information to hand at the moment, and she’s just returned from Spain, and her colleagues have been using her desk while she was away, and and and...
In other words, she doesn’t want to tell him. (Sensitive material, or jobs-worth?) But Henry has had a lifetime of getting his own way, so he’s a persuasive chap, and he’s used to arguing the legal toss - it’s his job. Item by item he deconstructs her excuses. He clinches it when he reaches into his armoury - remember Henry’s armoury? - and uses Sympathy with a capital S. Oh, and Flattery, big time.
Vanna hears the conversation. She’s eavesdropping whilst trying and or pretending not to - come on, we all do it - and she thinks he’s overdoing it, laying it on with a trowel; the woman will never fall for it. But she does.
And the answer to the question is: None. Zero. Zilch.
Henry’s taken aback, obviously, and he asks the woman if she’s sure, and she is, and he asks her Why, for heaven’s sake? And she says she doesn’t know why, they just collect and store the data.
Henry sits with his elbows on the Ouija table and his head in both hands. “No wonder Ellie said there was no point,” he says. “But why none at all? The Cold War ended. The legislation’s in place. You’re entitled to have your wife living with you in Britain.”
“I wonder whether it’s the same for people in other countries,” says Vanna, “or just Russia?”
“I should have asked her for the stats for France,” he says, “or Italy, or Poland, or Outer-Fucking-Mongolia. I’ll bet the bureaucrats give visas to eye-tyes.”
“But it’s kind of irrelevant, though,” says Vanna. “Though - you don’t think it would be worth going ahead with your application anyway? I mean, just because there were no Russians allowed in last year... Maybe this year they’ll start issuing them?”
“I doubt it,” he says. “It’s as Ellie says. No point. But what am I going to do? Olga’s essential. I need her; without her as my wife, it won’t work.”
“What won’t work?” asks Vanna, but he doesn’t seem to hear her, caught up as he is in his own misery.
Vanna feels sorry for him, she does. But she’s just realised that, actually, she feels somewhat relieved at the prospect of no Olga. She’s starting to wonder whether Henry’s the one Pete saw in his crystal ball. There’s something about him; his vulnerability, perhaps. Yes, I could fall for you, Henry, she thinks.
He’s clearly doing his own head in, so she decides to try to cheer him up. She makes two coffees and brings them through. He’s sitting where she left him, absently tugging his fingers through his hair. She sets up the Ouija, deals the letter-cards around the table edge. “Move your elbows for L, M, and N,” she says, “We’re going to talk to Ellie.”
“What possible good will that do?” he says.
“Who knows? She might have a way. Come on.”
“Ellie, I’ve just been speaking to the OPCS, and it’s not looking good for Olga,” says Henry.
I KNOW (says Ellie) NO VISAS ISSUED LAST YEAR TO RUSSIANS
“That’s what they said. But how could you know?”
I KNOW MANY SECRETS
“I’m beginning to understand that, Ellie. But why none at all? Is it coincidence? An anomaly, perhaps? Or policy?
POLICY
“And is the situation going to improve, do you think?”
NOT IN THE NEAR FUTURE
“Then what am I going to do? How am I to get the visa?”
THERE IS ANOTHER WAY
For the first time since the phone call, Henry sits up straight. “Really?” he says. “What’s that? If you think you’ve got a plan, Ellie, I’m all ears.”
MEP
“What’s ‘mep’?” says Vanna.
MEMBER OF EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT
GO SEE MEP FOR SOUTH EAST
ASK HER TO SORT VISA
“Ellie, I don’t mean to be difficult,” says Henry, “But that simply won’t work. Firstly, MEP’s are busy and important people, so they’re unlikely to be able to spare the time for a hack lawyer like me. Secondly, it’s not their job to process visa applications. Thirdly - is there a thirdly? - oh yes, thirdly, what makes you think an MEP would succeed when normal channels are bound to fail?”
GO SEE MEP FOR SOUTH EAST
HER NAME IS CAROLYN DOVER
IT WILL WORK AND YOU WILL GET THE VISA
“Carolyn Dover, hmm? I can check that out easily enough, see whether the name fits the seat. Why would she agree to see me though?”
SHES ALREADY MET YOU
“Really? I don’t remember meeting her. When was this?”
DINNER PARTY AT THE LINKS LAST YEAR WITH YOUR WIFE
“Ex-wife, Ellie. Christ!” he says, clapping his hand to his forehead, “That wasn’t the night she told everyone about the brains, was it?”
NO
DIFFERENT NIGHT
“That’s a relief,” says Henry, laughing. “I can’t place Carolyn Dover though.”
This time, the glass shoots off before he’s finished speaking. Vanna’s noticed that today the words are coming much faster than before.
SHE WILL REMEMBER YOU WHEN YOU RING HER FOR AN APPOINTMENT
“And she’ll give me one?”
NO BUT SHE’LL GIVE YOU AN APPOINTMENT AS SOON AS YOU LIKE
Vanna smirks, but the joke goes over Henry’s head. He purses his lips, considering. “It’s worth a try, I suppose,” he says. “Wait though. Getting an appointment is well and good, but what am I going to say to the woman? I don’t know her. She’s not a personal friend or anything. I might recognise her when I see her but that’s not going to be enough. Why should she want to help me? Assuming she’s in a position to, which I doubt.”
I KNOW MANY SECRETS
“Yes, old bean, you said. Do try not to repeat yourself. Are you going to tell me one of them?”
TELL HER YOU KNOW ABOUT GILES CLINTON BROWNE
“Who’s he?” says Vanna.
HOME SECRETARY
“Ah, right,” says Henry, “Of course he is. What about him?”
HES GIVING HER ONE
Both of them laugh. “Nice turn of phrase, Ellie. Very lady-like. But so what if he is? This day and age, that sort of thing goes on all the time. Nobody bothers about it. Are you honestly suggesting -” The glass speeds across the table.
BOTH OF THEM ARE MARRIED WITH CHILDREN
THERE ARE OTHER ISSUES TOO
IT WOULD BE VERY DISTRESSING IF IT GOT IN THE PAPERS
“Ellie, I’m shocked,” says Vanna, reproachfully.
“”Right,” says Henry, “So let me get this staight, Ellie. What you’re suggesting is that I go and see this Carolyn Dover, and ask her to wangle an under-the-counter visa for Olga, no questions asked. If she won’t help me, I slip it into the conversation that I know about her and the Home Secretary. A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat, and all that malarkey. If that doesn’t have the desired effect, I then insinuate that the pair of them could soon be looking at themselves in the tabloids. What makes you think a newspaper editor would even believe me? I’ve not got a shred of evidence; I don’t think the word of a disembodied spirit on a Ouija board would quite cut it, do you? The whole fiasco is preposterous in the extreme. You’re bonkers, Ellie, you really are: totally fucking bonkers.”
YOU WOULDNT HAVE TO ACTUALLY GO TO THE PAPERS
MOST LIKELY SHE WILL WANT TO HELP AS SOON AS
YOU SAY ABOUT HER AND THE HOME SEC
“And what if she calls my bluff? I don’t think I can bring myself to do it, I really don’t.”
SHE WONT CALL YOUR BLUFF
“And how is she going to swing the visa, even? That sort of thing isn’t within her remit.”
SHE CANT BUT THE HOME SEC CAN
“Ellie, I simply don’t believe this,” says Henry, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t even believe I’m having this conversation with you. It’s cellars and ‘X marks the spot’ all over again”.
THE COINS ARE THERE I CAN SEE THEM
YOU ASKED ME FOR ANOTHER WAY TO GET THE VISA
Henry sighs. It’s been a long day, and it’s not yet ten in the morning. It’s true, he did ask her - for which I can only blame myself, he thinks - and she’s given him the answer. An answer, at least. But his head aches. “I need some time to think about this,” he says.
Good, thinks Vanna; he’s going to finish now. She feels tired. Not physically, but her mind’s all tangled up in tentacles. “I could do with a break,” she says, putting her hands in her lap.
“All right,” says Henry, “but just one more question before we knock it on the head. Are you still there, Ellie?”
YES
“Good. Look, assuming I manage to get Olga’s visa - by whatever means - will she come? Will she marry me? Because as you probably know, Ellie, according to Vanna the tarot said that maybe she won’t make that final journey.”
PROBABLY NOT
“What? So now you’re saying she won’t come anyway? Then why go through all this blasted hoo-hah of getting her a visa?”
THERE IS A CHANCE BUT ONLY TINY
YOU HAVE TO TRY
YOU MUST KEEP TRYING
The glass stops, then starts again.
YOU OWE IT TO ZITCHI
“Who’s Zitchi?” says Vanna.
“I’m taking you to lunch,” he says, “and we can talk then. You can call in to see Peter at his shop afterwards if you like.”
At the Sun Cafe, Henry begins his story.
“Zitchi is, or was, a young Hungarian noblewoman who lived in the late sixteenth century. She was probably only fourteen or fifteen when she was invited to the court of the Countess Erzebet Bathory, to be her Lady-in-Waiting.”
“Erzebet Bathory - but that’s the woman in that book of yours.”
“Yes. Bathory later became known as ‘The Bloody Lady of Cjesthe’, ‘The Blood Countess’, and ‘Countess Dracula’; this last name because she spent her childhood at her parents’ castle at Ecsed, and Ecsed is relatively near to Transylvania, home of the Dracula legend, of course. In her lifetime she tortured and murdered hundreds of young women, many of whom were from noble families. Some historians say there may have been as many as six hundred killed, but nobody knows the true number, nor most of the names. Zitchi was one of them.”
“If nobody knows the names, or most of them, anyway, how do you know?” says Vanna.
“Two reasons. Firstly, her name is mentioned - very briefly and in passing, admittedly - in the book, which is based on the records of Bathory’s trial, many letters, and other papers. In the book, the way it’s worded is that she probably wasn’t killed but might have been, and since her family were silent on the matter, no one is sure either way. The point is made that if their daughter had been one of Bathory’s victims then surely they would have spoken up, but they didn’t. Personally I think that there might have been something else at work, such as politics, or more probably, fear. My belief is that they said nothing because they were afraid.”
“So you don’t really know if this Zitchi was a victim or not, then?” says Vanna.
“On the contrary. I have proof that she was.”
Vanna raises her eyebrows, makes a silent question with her eyes. He sips his wine.
“I acquired the book when I was at Cambridge, I don’t remember how. I didn’t get round to reading it until early this year, but when I did, Zitchi’s name leapt out at me. I had a strange feeling that I’d heard her name before, and that it held great significance for me. But I had no idea why. It’s not a common name, certainly not in this country, and I’m sure I hadn’t come across it in the everyday sense. I carried on with my work and put Zitchi out of my mind. But sometimes at night, just as I was falling asleep, her name would come into my head. Then after two or three months of this her face would appear as well, and it was a face I recognised.”
“You actually saw her face in your bedroom? Who was it?”
“No, her face was in my mind. And I don’t mean I recognised her from somewhere else, I mean I knew that I knew her. It’s difficult to explain. I realised that she was trying to speak to me, so I began studying the occult every spare moment I had. I thought it might help, but as you know, I do not have the gift. Then one day I went into Artemis - that’s the New Age shop in the High Street - and met Peter. He was giving Tarot readings, and he was able to give me some information about her. Not much though, I have to say; his readings are usually a hotch-potch of business advice, family, money, what-have-you. All good stuff and useful in its own way, but not what I needed the most. Some Thursdays he made no mention of Zitchi at all, even though I stressed how important she was. At other times there would be a brief mention, some snippet of little consequence.
“But, through Peter, I met Pam, and Pam is a Medium Extraordinaire. I had weekly sessions with her on the Ouija Board for several weeks, and I learnt so much about Zitchi -”
Henry’s voice fades; he is lost for words at once. Vanna watches him gaze at the space above her head. Like there’s something there a long way off, and yet he can see it clearly. Something beautiful. Or someone.
He returns to their table in the Sun Cafe, discovers his wine-glass with surprise, held in his hand halfway between the table and his face. The waiter arrives with their food, and they begin eating.
“Well, anyway,” he says, clearing his throat, “I now know that she’s real. I know it. And I know that I’m in love with her. But she is in a terrible place, and in such pain.”
My God, thinks Vanna. This is something she’s never come across before. “What I don’t understand,” she says, “is how she’s able to contact you, how you can know her and be in love with her, when she died - what was it - four hundred years ago?”
“Yes, about that,” says Henry, “Pam says it was around 1590. But her spirit can’t rest, you see, so that’s why she’s here.”
“ But if there were - hundreds you said - of women murdered by Bathory, why aren’t more of them here, in spirit? Why just Zitchi? And why you; why does she want you?”
“I don’t fully understand it myself,” he admits, spreading his hands. “But Zitchi is special in countless ways. And the main difference between her and all those other poor girls was that something additional happened to her before she died. Something worse, much worse even, than the torture.”
“What was that?” says Vanna.
“Pam discovered, through the board, that Zitchi was special to Bathory. She was the first noblewoman to be captured and tortured. Before her, Bathory had cut her teeth on peasants, quite literally, I understand.”
Vanna shudders.
“Because she was Bathory’s first victim of noble blood, Bathory kept the torture going for longer, kept her alive in an ever-weakening state, and Zitchi watched some of the later girls die. Pam thinks that Bathory was in love with her, in her own depraved way. She may have made Zitchi share her bed, although Zitchi remained a vigin in the strictest sense of the word. That was important, because Bathory believed the blood of virgins, and especially high-born virgins, had magical properties, and so she would bathe in it.”
Vanna has stopped eating. She doesn’t think she can finish her lunch. “It’s hard to understand how a human being could be so evil,” she says, “especially a woman.”
“I agree with you,” says Henry, although he seems to be managing his own lunch just fine. “Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. Well, by the time poor Zitchi was near to death, she had suffered at Bathory’s hand for months, much longer than many of the others ever did. And still Bathory carried on. Apparently, Zitchi begged her to spare her, but not only that, she begged to be allowed to go home to her family. And Bathory replied that because she loved Zitchi she would indeed spare her, on one condition.”
Henry’s finished his food now, and is searching for the waiter. Does Vanna want pudding? No? Or coffee perhaps? He orders two coffees.
“What was the condition?” prompts Vanna.
“The condition was,” says Henry, “that Bathory would spare Zitchi’s life and let her go home, in return for Zitchi’s soul. So that when, eventually, Zitchi did die, Bathory could be with her for eternity.”
“But that’s appalling! I wouldn’t do it!”
“Maybe so, but you don’t know how you’d react in that situation. Imagine extreme pain for months and months, and the terror. You’d probably sign anything.”
Vanna’s silent.
“Now,” says Henry, “I don’t know the process by which Bathory got hold of Zitchi’s soul; all I know is that she did. There may have been a ritual of some kind, or a document. I don’t know. What I do know is that once she had it - Zitchi’s soul, that is - Bathory went back on her word and killed her anyway.”
“Never trust a psychopath, that’s what I always say,” says Vanna, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
The attempt backfires. “It’s no joking matter,” says Henry, huffily. “Because of Bathory, Zitchi is still captive, and in torment.”
“Sorry,” she says. “Did you find out anything else, on the board? Did you manage to speak with Zitchi herself?”
“No, sadly not. After a few weekly sessions, Pam had to go into hospital for a woman’s operation. She was quite ill for some time. Then, just as she was beginning to get better, Peter found himself another woman, and now they’re going through a divorce. It’s a damned nuisance from my point of view, because I still have lots of questions. About Zitchi’s early life, for example. About why she’s relying on me, of all people, and not another man. What’s special about me? Also, I’d like to find out more detail about how I’m going to save her.”
“Save her?”
“Yes. I’m determined to do it this time.”
“What do you mean, ‘this time’?”
“I don’t know what I mean. Sometimes I get a sense of deja vu.”
“Everyone gets that though,” says Vanna.
“You’re probably right,” he says.
“So then, how are you going to save her?”
“It’s complex. Very complex. Do you remember me mentioning metempsychosis?”
“Ye-es,” says Vanna.
“Well, I need someone to take Zitchi’s place, only not exactly. As I said, it’s complicated. But anyway, that’s where Olga comes in.”
“Olga? What’s she got to do with it?”
“The metempsychosis. Come on, you know what the word means; I saw you looking it up in the dictionary,” says Henry.
Vanna hadn’t known he had been watching her.